"I'm Offended!!!!!"... that used to be my sentiment when it came to certain people. Offended AND hurt, actually... if I'm being completely honest. Yet, I would continue to stay in their presence and continue to receive their "less than stellar" actions toward me. Why was I so hell-bent on this self-deprecating behavior? Why did I continue to remain in their presence, just to act surprised/hurt when they continued to treat me in a way that made me feel small? What in me felt that I deserved this treatment? Why was I so concerned about their well-being; whilst diminishing myself?
Through this healing process, I have to force myself to pause in the midst of feeling drawn into the same scenarios. I can't be offended by the behavior of others, when I'm putting myself in their presence and allowing the treatment to persist.
When I'm tempted to fall into "victim stance"... I have to ask myself:
- What in me makes me feel I deserve this treatment?
- What can I do to build myself up?
- How can I give myself permission to cut-off access to those that make me feel insignificant?
I've played small for WAAAAYYYYY too long... it's time to stop feigning to be unintelligent, it's time to cease accessibility to those that intentionally belittle me, it's time to stop perpetuating the notion that I'm am anything less than amazing and that I deserve anything less than reciprocated HIGH VIBRATION energy. And most importantly... it's time to start treating myself with love and kindness. After all, how can I expect love, when I don't even give it to myself. (this includes, but is not limited to: jokes about myself and playing meek).
What are YOU allowing?
